u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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