in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
