Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
