did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
it glows. i had to have it.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
