Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
