i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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