i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
love makes seman taste better
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
