Those balls look pretty dangerous.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
