You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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