Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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