Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize