Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
