Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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