and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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