My hand turned me down
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
True strength comes from lack of pants
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
