why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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