Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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