This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
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Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
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Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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