At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
