My Higher Power is John Stamos
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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