remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
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tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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