I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
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if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
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did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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