my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
