i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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