So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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