So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The beer is more important than you right now.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
