I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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