it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize