Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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