He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
