so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
