You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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