I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
