Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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