i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
