Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
