Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
