I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
