Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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