i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
