It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
