why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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