its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.