im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme