Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..