How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize