im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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