Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
