Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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