dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize