if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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