I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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