it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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