No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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