Buhtt sex?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
