small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
