I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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